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This Lazy Husky Likes Having His Television Time A Little Too Much

When I’m watching my shows after work, you better think twice before interrupting. Commercials are fair game for talking to me, but I hate rewinding a scene to watch it again, so I know how this husky feels. 
When Luca is interrupted during his TV time, he is very unhappy. Watch as the husky throws the cutest temper tantrum, just because he doesn’t want to leave the comfy couch and riveting show.

(source YouTube)
I know how you feel, Luca. Let’s just go snuggle and watch TV in another room!

65 Highly Anticipated Films At The 2015 Sundance Film Festival

There are all kinds of movies for all kinds of people at this year’s premier Park City-set independent film fest. Here they are, grouped by recurring themes.

It’s Hard Being a Teenager

It’s Hard Being a Teenager

1. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (U.S. Dramatic Competition)
Starring: Thomas Mann, RJ Cyler, Olivia Cooke, Nick Offerman, Connie Britton, and Molly Shannon
Directed by: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon
Thomas Mann plays Greg, an antisocial high-schooler who also makes movies as a hobby. He and his one friend, Earl (RJ Cyler), are forced by Greg's mother to befriend Rachel (Olivia Cooke), who has been diagnosed with leukemia. I have prepared myself to be moved by this film, since I teared up while watching the Sundance video of director Alfonso Gomez-Rejon merely describing it. Jesse Andrews, whose 2013 debut novel of the same name inspired the movie, also wrote the screenplay.

2. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (U.S. Dramatic Competition)
Starring: Bel Powley, Alexander Skarsgård, Christopher Meloni, and Kristen Wiig
Directed by: Marielle Heller
This movie, which has animated elements as well as live action, was adapted from Phoebe Gloeckner's graphic novel from 2002. Written and directed by Marielle Heller, The Diary of a Teenage Girl takes place in '70s San Francisco and centers on teenaged Minnie (Bel Powley), who has sex with her mother's (Kristen Wiig) boyfriend (Alexander Skarsgård).

3. Seoul Searching (Premieres)
Starring: Justin Chon, Jessika Van, In-pyo Cha, Teo Yoo, Esteban Ahn, and Byul Kang
Directed by: Benson Lee
Another period movie, Seoul Searching is set in the John Hughesian era of 1986 and follows a group of Korean teens from all over the world who have come to Seoul for a summer program. According to the Sundance program, Benson Lee, who also wrote the screenplay, based the movie on his own experiences.

4. Slow West (World Cinema Dramatic Competition)
Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Michael Fassbender, Ben Mendelsohn, Caren Pistorius, and Rory McCann
Directed by: John Maclean
Set even further back in time than either of the previous two movies, Slow West sends the audience to the late 19th century where Kodi Smit-McPhee (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes) plays Jay, a Scottish 17-year-old who heads to the American West and starts traveling with Silas (Michael Fassbender, an executive producer here). This is John Maclean's first feature (and he wrote it as well), but he and Fassbender have previously collaborated on two shorts.

5. Dope (U.S. Dramatic Competition)
Starring: Shameik Moore, Tony Revolori, Kiersey Clemons, Blake Anderson, Zoë Kravitz, and A$AP Rocky
Directed by: Rick Famuyiwa
Dope centers on three nerdy friends who live in a rough neighborhood in Inglewood, California, and are trying to avoid its pitfalls. Writer/director Rick Famuyiwa is an alumnus of Sundance's Director's Lab, where he finished 1999's The Wood, which was also set in Inglewood and is also about a group of friends (played by Omar Epps and Taye Diggs, among others). The festival write-up of Dope describes it, in part, as being “a delightful mash-up of DIY punk, Yo! MTV Raps, YouTube, and Neil deGrasse Tyson.”

6. Grandma (Premieres)
Starring: Lily Tomlin, Julia Garner, Marcia Gay Harden, Judy Greer, Laverne Cox, Sam Elliott
Directed by: Paul Weitz
As a director, Paul Weitz has gone from the broadest comedies there are (American Pie, Little Fockers) to more nuanced movies like About a Boy. In Grandma, which Weitz also wrote, Lily Tomlin plays Elle, a lesbian poet whose granddaughter (Julia Garner) needs her help, causing Elle to revisit her past. Marcia Gay Harden plays Elle's daughter.

7. Songs My Brothers Taught Me (U.S. Dramatic Competition)
Starring: John Reddy, Jashaun St. John, Irene Bedard, Taysha Fuller, Travis Lone Hill, and Eléonore Hendricks
Directed by: Chloé Zhao
In writer/director Chloé Zhao's feature film debut, Johnny, a high school senior, wants to leave the reservation where he grew up, but after his father dies, he finds he can't leave his younger sister. —Kate Aurthur

Clockwise from top left: Courtesy Sundance Institute; Aaron Epstein; Sam Emerson; Daniel Katz; Chung Hoon Chung


Richard Wong

Z for Zachariah

Courtesy Sundance Institute

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Is Kylie Jenner Modelling Her Entire Look On This Woman?

Let’s examine the evidence.

This is Heather. She is the owner of Sorella Boutique and is in a relationship with rapper Trell, whose best friend is Tyga – Kylie’s boyfriend.

Heather and Kylie have been friends for a while, but it's only recently that it's being noticed, by this blog and A LOT of people on Twitter, that there are comparisons between the pair. It seems that Kylie is being influenced by Heather's style and makeup – and in particular her love of matte lipstick, arched eyebrows and hair dye.

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Mascots Can Be A Lot Of Fun, But They Can Also Be Really Awkward

The whole point of a mascot is to bring people joy and excite the masses. But what if all they do is creep out everyone?
It seems that for every good mascot there are two or three weird, incredibly awkward ones. We’ve all seen some unfortunate mascots in our time – the ones that just don’t look right, or maybe were a bad idea to begin with; the ones that you see and you just wonder why, WHY?
Check out some of our favorite mascot fails below!

1.) “Ss…Santa?”

Awkward Family Photos

2.) Nothing says “Win!” like a steamed crab.

Sad And Useless

3.) This…

17 One-Liners That Will Kill Any First Date

Flickr / Prasanna Raju
Flickr / Prasanna Raju
Found on AskReddit.


“I love you.”


“I’d like to tell you about my Lord and Savior.”


“Is this place within 200 feet of a school?”


“My mom’s calling—give me a minute.”


“I’m just a normal brony who loves Nickelback.”


“I wake up to Fox News every morning.”


“I think I can smell your genitals.”


“I shall think about you in the shower tonight.”


“How much sex before we get married?”


“Your children need to leave if I come over.”


“Our babies would be so cute!”


“Wow, you’re fatter in person.”


“If we are going to keep dating, I need you to lose some weight.”


“You remind me of my mother!”


“Technically, on paper, I’m married.”


“Ayy baby, you want some fuck?”


“I beat herpes.” TC mark

5 Personal Obsessions Expressed In I Dig Symmetry And Six Other Stories

Flickr / Alagich Katya
Flickr / Alagich Katya

Let us forget for a moment the solipsism at work in cataloguing the obsessions in one’s oeuvre — particularly when said oeuvre is severely limited — or that cataloguing things in general comes with it the implication the cataloger has way too much time on their hands. Or let us not forget, because cataloguing this kind of shit is so much fun (!) and allows us to examine a defining aspect of literary and human history: the gone and the ongoing. From sadism and retifism to nymphomania and satyriasis and everything in-between and seemingly unrelated, writers who have made art of their obsessions have driven me to mine my own. And to be clear (which I’m rarely ever; purposefully), my writing is practically a compendium of my various and varied obsessions. This means discovering them is not exactly a needle-in-a-haystack proposition.

The truth is that I’ve tried to avoid referencing my own work here (or at least not deal directly with it) because I’d hoped that it might speak for itself. However, hope is a silly, clingy thing. So let us forget forgetting and talk about me.

1. Let’s talk about polka-dot panties: I cannot rightly pinpoint the moment polka-dots became a “thing” for me, nor can I truly explain their allure. But if explication is totally necessary, the first bullshitty thing that comes to mind is the female body covered by the female body aesthetic. See, polka-dots are circles and circles have curves. Women are not circles but they do have curves. Curves on curves. Mmmm. Simple but pseudo-intellectual enough to make me feel smart. It’s okay to laugh. I am too.

“I closed my eyes, all I could see were her polka-dot panties and the stray hairs that would peek out from the elastic that shrouded her pudendum.” – from One Fat Englishman; I Fuck Everything

Not my proudest sentence. Word insists a semi-colon and not a comma should separate eyes and all. Word is right. But when you’re thinking with the head in your pants and not the one on your neck, OEN HNADED TPYING is king of all. It’s really bothering me. My high school English teacher is red faced rubbing the back of his neck. “Help me understand…”

2. Let’s talk about vomiting: Usually I associate vomiting with binge drinking because it’s the only time I vomit. Nothing glamorous or sexy (outside of fetishizing it) about that, but I certainly give it the old college try!

“I held her hair back as she apologized through heaves of vomit.” – from One Fat Englishman; I Fuck Everything

Ah yes, the embarrassing cliché of a woman who can’t handle her swill and the chivalrous man rescuing her most treasured asset. I don’t think I can mansplain away the misogyny at play here, but I can admit it might’ve been funnier had the narrator let her puke all over her hair. It’s another sentence that could’ve been worded better or differently. I’m getting kind of angry at this.

3. Let’s talk about CISCO, that most glorious of bum wines: At the time I wrote these stories, I was poor and good Irish whiskey was an alcoholic dream-of-dreams. So the best way to get blotto for peanuts was this sickly-sweet shit. My buddy Adam Strange and I used to wax hopefully about someday doing CISCO sponsored readings and being awarded lifetime supplies of it. It probably won’t happen, but CISCO reps; if you guys are reading, HMU.

“[…] and drank more Cisco which tasted like grapes and liquor.” – from I Am Not Unfond of Assymetry…

At this point I’m starting to question the wisdom of decontextualizing my sentences. It’s rather embarrassing. Anyway… grapes and liquor. If you take the alcohol away from grapes, they’re too sweet for me and leave a waxy residue in my mouth, so whatever romantic notions of being fed grapes while reclined on a divan lack punch for me. I much prefer getting loaded on Cisco and fooling around on the floor in a dim lit room.

4. Let’s talk about foreign languages: Growing up in Texas, I was exposed to Spanish at a young age. Throughout the years I’ve displayed varying levels of fluency, but the real drop-off was when I decided to focus on learning Portuguese. I was so driven to learn a language I had no real need for that I just couldn’t keep up with Spanish anymore. Surprising fact, perhaps, because the two languages are so deceptively similar. Inveterate dabbling: is it unbelievably pretentious? You bet. Indicative of a privileged position? Yup.

“I sighed with relief saying, Meu Deus, SIM! Finalmente meu amor, você chegou! – from Houdini

How Nabokovian! The narrator is so pert and worldly! The absurdity at play in comparing anything I’ve written to one of the literary masters is not lost on me. What I’m highlighting here is that I’m not married to any notions of purity in language. I don’t believe mixing phrases and idioms from other languages devalue my primary language (nor does it necessarily enhance in my case). I don’t adhere to any Orwellian standards of the word.

In conversation, I’m obsessed with code-switching. When I hear bi or multi-linguists converse, my ears perk with excitement because I can’t wait to hear them replace words with other words more comfortable or familiar to them.

5. Let’s talk about masturbation: This is probably the most recurring theme throughout the collection. From an outsider’s view, these stories are either evidence of my strong sexuality or an illumination to the contrary. Admittedly, there’s not a lot of intercourse in my life, so the hand benefits.

“[…] I debated whether I should join my fellow Dionysian devotees or if I should masturbate at the electronic altar of this beauty.” – from One Fat Englishman; I Fuck Everything

There are six stories, and yet, three of my five obsessions catalogued here appear in one story. It’s not my favorite story nor is it the strongest in the collection, but it speaks to probably one of the most regretted times in my life. I was away at college and I spent more time being depressed and lonely, spending whatever snatches of privacy I had masturbating to internet porn as opposed to studying or placing myself in meaningful social situations. Sure, I made friends and had fun, but I was always excited about getting some time alone with my hand and the image fetishized and dehumanized. Or something. Don’t get me wrong. I love porn. TC mark

1. Ego says: I’m really modest! Sincerely, I am!
2. This portmanteau is not corrected on Word. It is in the dictionary. Weird, because I think this is first time I’ve used it in a document.

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