Next Time Someone Whines About Being ‘Friend Zoned,’ Tell Them These 2 Words

If I hear someone say they’ve been “friend zoned” one more time…

“For the so-called nice guys who complain about being placed in the friend zone: SHUT UP.”

In case you’re unfamiliar with the term “friend zone,” let me explain. The “friend zone” is known as a horrible place where a person may end up if the object of their affection wishes to keep things platonic. Harmless enough, right? Well, not so much.

Turns out the “friend zone” is actually just a place for people who think they deserve to sleep with someone. Um, ew.

There are lots of things worth complaining about. Being “friend zoned”? Not one of them.

“Thinking you are owed something for not being an asshole makes you an asshole.” YES. THIS.

Things brings us to the second part of the performance …

“Who the f*** complains about being placed in something called the ‘friend zone’?”

“It sounds awesome. Like Auto Zone, but for friends.” The two paint quite the beautiful picture of a lovely place called the “friend zone” — the kind without expectations of sex. It’s magical! There are sunflowers and pizza and friendly pirates and only consensual hugs.

The best part? In the “friend zone,” there’s a giant boat filled with s’mores called … wait for it … The Friend Ship.

Boom. Well said.

So remember: If you’re complaining about “just” being someone’s friend, that probably means you’re a pretty bad friend anyway.

Check out Desireé and Justin’s whole performance in the video below.

Original video of Desireé Dallagiacomo and Justin Lamb performing “The Friend Zone” uploaded by Button Poetry. GIFs made by me.

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