1. You get a fast-track to unmasking weirdos
There’s something about being around a ginger girl that brings out all kinds of creepy in guys. I guess for perverts, kryptonite is red. So forget about endlessly stalking his Twitter feed or going for the Google image search, if you really want to know whether he’s a nut or not then I GUARANTEE you’ll get your answer within 2 seconds of meeting. Why? Because inevitably if he is, this phrase will crop up: “Do the carpets match the drapes?” Aaaaand we’re done.
2. Which then automatically makes you the witty, sassy one.
A lifetime of freaks and abuse enables you to compile a mental rolodex of sassy put-downs to use at your whim. Own them.
3. Getting NOTICED.
Every hairdresser I’ve been to has fawned over my ginger hair. You literally have people come up to you IN THE STREET to tell you how awesome it is. Hell, some even go so far as asking to touch it (it happens)… Okay it might be a little weird but just think of the stories.
4. People automatically think you’re good in bed.
Offensive? Possibly. But you know what, I’ll take it.
5. Never having to worry about old age.
You spend your days lathered in a layer of SPF 50 so thick that I doubt sharp objects could penetrate it, let alone sunlight. AKA, your skin will age flawlessly. You may be jealous of that super bronzed friend now but talk to me again when she’s got weavage at 30 . Yeah you read that right – wrinkly cleavage.
6. Having something ABOUT YOU.
If you’ve watched just about any movie EVER you’ll notice that when a director wants to portray the ‘mysterious’, ‘’gutsy’, ‘witty’ type, they automatically make their actors dye their hair red – or wear a wig, whatever. That’s because ginger people are usually all of those things. This might sound like a major generalisation but see, us red heads don’t have the luxury of relying on our looks growing up. That unforgiving carrot top worked 24/7 against us. So instead of passing through life, red heads have to put in the extra hours developing that winning personality and usually it pays off. Those school yard taunts really were ‘character building’ stuff.
7. A free pass to act like a psycho.
And then blame it on ‘your genes’?!? Crazy science or just a bizarre stereotype? To be honest, no red head should care. If you can blow your lid and have an automatic ‘get out of jail free card’ sat right on top of your head then you should be more than down.
8. One bitchin’ heritage.
Blondes have more fun? So what. They’re also the butt of every stupid joke there is, so don’t think they’ve got it easy. What do we get? A whole history of being thought of as crazy/wild/evil from the Ancients Greeks right up to the Victorians. People were so freaked out at one point that they thought gingers were witches – that’s just so mental it’s fascinating.
9. You’re pretty damn unique.
Supposedly only a tiny 2% of the WORLD’S population has ginger hair. Want to know something even more insane? If you have blue eyes and red hair – it’s only 1%. That my friends, is truly special.
10. An automatic sisterhood.
What can I say, a lifetime of torture has a way of bringing people together.
11. Fashion just gets you.
You might not be able to go all out with the trends (neon is not your friend) but that’s because you get the ultimate accessory – your hair. You can make almost any slightly mundane outfit look fierce by doing next to nothing.
12. Um. FRECKLES.
Call me crazy but freckles are gorgeous. If that’s the price you have to pay for not being able to go out in the sun then put settle your life payment up-front.